Okay, I have often been mistaken for an organized person, one who plans, and can thereby function in a structured society. If you have ever made that assumption about me, you are way off base. I am not, nor have I ever been, organized. Clean, sure. Hard working, absolutely. Organized, no way!
I do manage to get quite a bit done, most of the time, but it has everything to do with over working, and nothing whatsoever to do with organization.
I don't keep a calendar or day planner, or file papers away, or make schedules. I actually loathe all of those things.
Have you heard the term "work smarter, not harder"? Well, that doesn't apply to me. I prefer to just work hard. Just because I am not organized, do not assume that I am lazy. I am not. I actually love to work and I most often bite off more than I can chew. I create work for myself and then hold myself to a very high standard. I end up working all day and night to get stuff done.
On my mission, there were those missionaries who could structure their study time so that they could get everything done between 6:30 and 8:30 AM. I could not, so I had to get up at 4:30. I also got up early because I felt like I needed to study harder than most. I don't consider myself to be one of those naturally in tune with the Spirit people. You know, the ones who can say, let's go knock on that door. Someone there is ready to be taught. Nope, I had to study harder to try to be inspired and then I had to work harder to compensate. I worked on p-day and when we came home at night, and early in the morning. To my face people would say that I was an awesome missionary, and behind my back they called me the proselyting Nazi, but the truth is I was just working really hard to compensate for the fact that I am a disorganized, uninspired mess. I know what my weaknesses are and I have always worked hard to offset them. Not just on the mission, in everything.
But lately I am feeling like I just don't belong in the real world. Like I should be home schooling and attending church via satellite, and just avoiding anything and everything that requires me to function like a human being with a schedule.
These are the top ten ways I was reminded today that I do not belong in this world.
10- Forgot to set the alarm! Alyssa missed the bus and I had to drive her, at which point she said "You are all bundled up so I don't think anyone will notice that you're not wearing a bra."
9- Planned to go to the store before Alex's school started, to get the snacks that he was assigned to bring today. I have known for weeks that it was his turn, but it was cold yesterday and I was pretending it was still Christmas break. Alex dragged his feet and pouted about going back to school for so long this morning, that he was 15 minutes late. I told the teachers that I would go get his snack and be right back.
8- But wait Mrs. Johnson, Can you please bring him some shoes as well. This is not the first time that I have failed to bring shoes, and they are not allowed to wear snow boots all day. They will make you go home and get shoes. I assured them that I would return momentarily with both snacks and shoes.
7- At the store I got the snacks that were needed as quickly as possible and headed up to check out. As I handed the cashier my debit card, I realized it was not my debit card, but my expired license. I accidentally threw my current one away in September and have not yet replaced it, because that would be grown-up and responsible. One point for not owning a current license.
6- And another point for not even having my debit card with me. I asked them to hold my groceries and I would run home and get it. They closed the whole checkout lane so that they could leave my order up and not have to ring it up again when I returned. How's that for embarrassing?
5- In the car I remembered that my debit card was in the center console in the car so I got back out, got Chloe back out, and ran back in to pay for my stuff. It is funny. I have a scary good, long term memory. I can probably tell you about the first conversation I ever had with you, or what I wore on the first day of school 25 years ago, but I have a true gift for misplacing things.
4- I got back in the car and ran home to get Alex's backpack and change of shoes and dropped them, and the snacks, off at his school. I got home from dropping Alex off at 8:30 school, at 9:45 and the school is only 5 minutes away.
3- Once we were home I continued to ignore the structured life that is trying to come back from Christmas break and just played with Chloe for awhile. When we picked up Alex, he was so happy to come home and leave the real world behind as well. All I have heard is how happy he is that he doesn't have school tomorrow. Not only do I not belong in organized society, I should not be raising children because this one is turning in to me.
2- And now that Chloe is napping, I sat down to read a few blogs and my friend Melanie mentioned that they renamed the Primary classes for 2010. I should know that, right? That does fall under my jurisdiction, does it not? But it was news to me. Apparently that info went out in June and never reached me, which makes me 6 months behind other Primaries.
1- But wait, there's more. This is actually the second time that has happened in two weeks. This time it's a quick fix, but the last time left me re-doing all of our schedules and binders for the year. This was only partially my fault since I never got notified, but if I was organized and kept up with the church website, none of it would have happened. I have felt so inadequate in my calling over the past few weeks, to the point of shaking and tears and major anxiety. Thank goodness for the amazing people I work with who encourage me over and over and over, because no matter how hard I work nothing ever seems to come out right.
So there, are you convinced? I should home school, and work at home, and go to college online, and throw all alarm clocks out of my house and just quit trying to blend. I am not from this planet. I see all these moms in their cute lady clothes, hair and make-up perfectly situated (even in sub-zero weather and fierce wind) dropping off their kids, and they are talking about how they have already been to the gym. I am running in, in my hoodie and jeans from the Juniors Department, make-up free and messily pony tailed, and the gym , well that's not gonna happen. I sleep in jeans half the time. I prefer to go to bed at 3:00 AM. I don't own a purse. I don't get manicures unless you count biting my nails down to the quick. I am just not ready to function as an adult yet.
I have made some strides in the right direction. I cook dinner, good stuff most of the time. I play with my kids and even feed and bathe them. I clean the house, and even do the laundry when I am left with no other choice. I once thought that meant I would keeping taking adult steps and eventually become "that lady", but suddenly I am quite certain that I never will. Suddenly, I know that I am just not from this planet, and I am not adjusting well to this thing you earthlings call life.
Second Week of School
3 years ago
15 comments:
Julie,
I have had this talk with Jeff and Michael. It is hard living with the humans. Maybe it's time we sat down and talked.
Dad
Hee hee, at least you cook dinner and play with your kids. My kids are starving and turning into video game junkies. And yes we are moving to Michigan but it won't be 100% official until the end of Febuary.
Oh Julie, thanks for the comment on my blog. It's nice to know that people read my crap. Anyway, you are a great mom of 3 KIDS! You do all you can to make yourself your family and your husband happy. And on top of that you are responsible for 50+ kids on Sunday! You have a lot on your shoulders and I KNOW you are great at it. Happy New Year!
Is the room on Planet Johnson? I'm telling you, you just tapped into 567 reasons that I homeschool. I cant keep beat to anybody else's drum. I just can't and I quit trying. I loved your morning. It's good to know that there are others out there. And I love the look of a hoodie and jeans for dropping off kids at school-what else could be more appropriate and comfortable too??
Everyone has some days like that...or weeks! Hang in there, you do a great job!
...I knew there was something wrong with you!...
Just think--in THE COMPOUND you could run around all day long without a bra. Or shoes. Or makeup. And I would do the laundry if you would cook. All the kids would be homeschooled--remember that Liz and Sarah are elementary teachers. And all the kids would be with their best friends and cousins all the time. And G&G C would be right there the whole time. And, if Brody is coming, it would be in Rachel, Nevada--home to Area 51 and the Little Alie-Inn (Alien). So you'd fit right in with the rest of us aliens!! Whaddya think??
What an observant young lady Alyssa is! That's too funny--all of it. I read that no bra line right before I took a call and could barely hold it together...And for what it's worth, I prefer to think that the all-made up, perfect gym mommies are the aliens.
I forgot to ask the other day--was it a Cutco knife presentation and what did you buy? I love Cutco!! :o) Did you know I sold that years ago?
I LOVE this post!
There are SO many times where we (as Mother, or just a human) feel SO different, but I never like to think of it as a bad thing! I think it is great to be a little off, and not the normal cookie cutter Gingerbread Mother. We can't all be the same. As long as our kids are happy, that's what counts! Plus, some people are just better at putting on a show! :)
Hoodie and jeans from the JUNIOR department? That sounds like a good thing to me! Pat yourself on the back!
Thanks for such a great post.
Thanks for the JOY!!!! There were days when I threw a coat over my pj's - no bra, no clothes, and slippers on the feet - and was grateful it was cold enough I could get away with that as I raced my brood to the school. Too funny a morning! Glad you can see it through the laugh glasses!
You are an alien, but that's why I like you so much. I've accepted that about myself years ago, too. I guess what Katelin says is true then, that gym-going moms who do their hair and make-up are aliens. I only do those things because I would make most people vomit in their mouths a little each time they saw me without my hair done and make-up (do you remember the L'Bri party? Enough said.).
I forget to bring real shoes for Mimi all the time at school, but I just tell the teachers to deal with it. And snacks, I'm usually running to get them after I drop off Mimi, too. I'm organized around the house, but not organized in life (if that makes sense).
Katelin-
Yes, they are Cutco knives. We bought some as well our 2nd batch, actually). We bought some years agobut Mike wanted more; he's a knife guy. Does that surprise you? I didn't know you sold them. How funny!
I love when I post whatever nonsense there is swirling in my mind, and then think that it was a stupid post, and then come in here and find...comments! You guys really are the best!
Dad, I already figured out that the King side was the source of my alien blood.
Sally, let us know when you get the official word about Michigan. What part of Michigan? Are you close to the Lake? Swim over and see us. Ha,Ha! Wait 'til you see this lake, it looks like the ocean. So awesome! And we really should get together while we are at least in the same part of the country.
Katie, I guess shopping in the Juniors Dept isn't too bad, but I don't quite have the right shaped hips and butt for it anymore, but I am so completely without curves that lady clothes make me look like a boy playing dress up in Mommy's closet. Juniors Dept is cheaper, so I stay there.
Katelin, I see that I was too slow to patrol my comments this morning and Jen filled you in. I got a santoku knife, because I have always wanted a good one. I would like the whole set, but I use that kind of knife for most everything anyway...can't wait to get one that actually works! Seth got a filet knife for fishing, since Jared isn't here to filet our fish for us anymore and he got the table knives. And we got the scissors for FREE. I broke my kitchen scissors cutting open one of those thick plastic ties on toys Christmas morning. I actually did remember that you sold Cutco...did you do those in home shows? You are so brave!
Jen, You looked fine without makeup. At least you didn't have dry dinosaur scales falling all over the table like I did. I can't believe Mike bought more knives, although it could take me forever to collect all the stuff I wanted. I am just glad that I know people who already use and love Cutco.
Do you need to go back to Super Camp?
I think we are all aliens... and funny that your alien-ness comes from your King side because I'm pretty sure mine comes from my King side too. Maybe we're related from way back somewhere.
Why can't they wear snow boots all day?
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