Alright, so the challenge got shelved for a few days because I had a sick and very whiny baby girl (I can call her a baby if I want to) at the end of last week and Seth was working in Utah all week, so my days were very busy. Not bad, just busy. Alex is home sick today, but that has actually freed up a few minutes since him and Chloe are sitting together, keeping each other company with barf bowls and blankets. And so I am back....
Day Seven- A picture of someone/something that has had the biggest impact on you
Ugh!!!! I know exactly what my answer for this one is. It has been sitting at the top of my heart for weeks, and I just can't seem to give it words. Frustrating!
The something that has had the biggest impact on me is being a stay-at-home mom, and the someone is Seth, the man behind the mommy.
Maybe I am struggling to find words because I am worried about offending people who don't have this opportunity, or who prefer to work and may feel guilty. I do not feel superior to anyone else as a mother. I also understand what it is like to be a working mommy, since I have been there. I am not trying to compare to anyone else. I am only trying to express gratitude.
I guess this is something I have thought about a lot lately because I can feel the kids' little years slipping away. I only have one munchkin still at home full time, and I know that soon life will become more real for my kids. There will be things I can not fix with a kiss, and I know that I will miss these years. Since I can not make the clock slow down, I am overwhelmed with gratitude for the chance I have had to be here full time and to collect as many seconds from these years as possible.
I feel like this has been my defining role, my purpose even. That doesn't mean I have done it perfectly, or even well sometimes, but it has been the greatest blessing in my life to be mommy to these babies. I know, I know I will always be their mommy, but it will never be like this again.
I feel deeply indebted to Seth, for making it happen. He has worked so hard so that I could be here. With each new promotion comes more work and more hours for him, and easier times for me and the kids. More field trips, more memories. And I feel guilty sometimes because I get to play the favorite parent, the one who is here, the one who goes fun places. What the kids never realize is that Seth is there behind the scenes, responsible for all of it. The good times, the memories, the mommy. They only have me, because we have him.
He stands in the wings and lets me take center stage. To be loved that much, to have someone sacrifice that much, well that has had the greatest impact on me. And as much as I wish I could give something that amazing in return, here I sit, unable to even find adequate words to express my gratitude. My answer sounds so cliche, and the impact this has had on me is so much bigger than this answer.
Now how do put that in a picture? I guess I will just let you look at Chloe. My days home with her this year have really been what have triggered this whole line of thinking. The grand finale of my time in mommyville.
I couldn't decide which picture was cuter so you get two. If daddy wears BYU blue for game day, Chloe wants to be right there with him. She also wants to marry him someday and tells me that he is her prince. Mine too.
13 comments:
I love both pictures, what a cute kid. Only spoiled by country music in the background, ha! Although I did like the words to the song, now if Steven Tyler was singing it might have been OK.
Too sweet and TOO true. There is something so special about this time as a Mother. I have been "feeling it" too since Grayson will start PreK this August. My baby will b headed to school....Crazy! It's only two half days a week, but it feels like these care free are slipping away. It starts with PreK, then school, then there off into the big, scary real world with real problems! ;) I better quit commenting, and go cuddle my babies. LOL
Seriously, nothing better than time with these radical kids we've got!! I LOVE those pics of Chloe, her outfit is the cutest! Audrey wore one of her little gowns yesterday, but I forgot to get a pic this time...
Thank you for posting this. As a working mom, it is such a relief to hear someone speak so highly of staying home and appreciating their opportunity to do so. It is hard work to raise children, but very valuable work. I'm so glad you get the opportunity and that you treasure it.
I love this. Sometimes being a mom 24/7 is so hard but it is good to remember how amazing it is and how blessed those of us that can do it are.
Also, it is a good reminder that we wouldn't be able to be stay at home moms without our hard working husbands. I think you did a great job of describing that.
The pictures of Chloe are adorable as usual.
Oh- and I'm glad you're back to blogging. I checked your blog every day just in case it wasn't updating on my blog roll. :)
All I have to say is thank you for that. I feel the exact way about Branch.
I want a BYU shirt too, although I would look nowhere near as cute as Chloe. I would look like a washed-up house frau rooting for her old alma mater, but still. I loved your post today. It's a good reminder of how lucky we are to be home with the charges. It doesn't happen on accident. It's a lot of hard work on the part of our husbands (and our parts at home with wacky children, too). I guess I'll give my own breadwinner an extra pat on the back tonight, and I'll let him know that he has you to thank for it. There's nowhere else I'd rather be during the day than at home with my two insane progeny. What in the world am I going to do with myself when they are gone?
So glad you have the wisdom to recognize what a blessing it is to be able to be the woman in your children's lives. I ended up having to go to work after my youngest was born just to support my oldest on his mission. I think God knew that was going to happen because he held Heather back for so long. But bottom line is in retrospect both Brent and I feel now like we should have sacrificed more to keep me home at that time and not leave Heather with babysitters. Everyone who took care of her was wonderful, but they weren't me. And she got an attitude that she turned out fine (she is an awesome person) so it doesn't matter. Well, I will tell you it does. I will tell the whole world it so so so does!
Some people have to work. There is no choice. Sometimes for financial reasons and sometimes for emotional. And the choice is such an individual one that only the people involved in the decision to work or not can make the choice. But if there is an option, every time I will say sacrifice and stay home.
You know, if your sad about Chloe being your last one at home, it's not to late to catch up to me! I'm just saying.
Sally, ha,ha! It was actually weird when I found out you were having a fourth without us, since the rest of our kids are the same age and gender. But catching up is no longer an option. I am excited to see what you are having and I will just assume that I would have had the same if I'd joined you.
I needed this little reminder of how it's possible for me to stay at home each day with my kids and get to do all the fun stuff while the man slaves away at work. I remember when we first talked about getting married and Mike made it clear from day one that he'd want me to be a stay-at-home mom. I flipped out because my entire life I figured I would have one or none and have my career. Thankfully, Mike slowly convinced me that the reason he was planning to spend an extra 6 years beyond college in school was so that I could stay home with my future children. I'm so grateful for that sacrifice.
Julie I am very envious of you in this area. This is the first time I have been a SAHM and I am not doing it well. I'm realizing I associate value and contribution with working. I wish so much to be a mom that finds supreme satisfaction in being a mom. That is quite a virtue to have and you should be proud of it.
Chills and Tears. Ditto is all I can say.
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