For my Cousins

I grew up about 20 minutes from my cousins. Every Sunday I drive 20 minutes to church. I drive 20 minutes to Target. Yet somehow, we didn't make that drive very often. We went on Yosemite vacations, St. George retreats, and met up at family gatherings, but in between, we never went down the street and made our relationships more permanent. My mom and her brother were several years apart, and they both had busy lives and lots of kids.

I loved the time I spent with my cousins but I knew them best through the things Nonnie would tell me about them. She was so proud of them, and why wouldn't she be? They are so talented, and beautiful, and confident. Ten kids and somehow they each had a standout personality. My Nonnie was so confident. So, so confident. I wish I had inherited that instead of these pesky early grays I am starting to find, but her confidence seemed to be passed down exclusively to my cousins. I look up to them. I always have.

Recently we have been having a full out cousins reunion in Blogland. We somehow missed each other when we were neighbors, but have found each other here. I suddenly wish they were right now only 20 minutes away because I would jump in the car and make that drive. They are so fabulous and I am loving getting to know them better.

Funny thing is, they have been enjoying my company too. As kids, I am sure they always wondered why I never opened my mouth, or joined in the games, or talent shows, or ANYTHING!

I am loving the second chance that blogging has granted. They have been so kind in their comments. Then, the other day when I was having a bad day I clicked over on Leslie's blog and her post was about me, her whole post. No way! No one has ever done a post about me. She was so complimentary and even later called my writing publishable in her comments. Leslie is a writer and that meant more than the cliche words "made my day" can really express, even if I put them in bold.

And today my cousin Erin (aka Prudence Pennywise) posted on her cooking blog that her next recipe is being posted for her cousin Julie. It is the brown bag apple pie I was yacking about recently. I will let you know when it is posted. I am standing with my face pressed up against the window of her blog, waiting like a Black Friday shopper. I also want to be Erin when I grow up. She was in drama and I remember watching her do improv comedy around the campfire in Yosemite and starting to take an interest in theatre. She was the first sister missionary in the family, and she enters cooking contests, and writes, and is a professor. All things I have dreamt of being if my body had been inhabited by a far more confident soul.

Then there are my birthday twins who have made comments and joined in the blogging conversation recently. I share a birthday with two of my cousins. Heidi, who is a year older and also got married exactly a year before me as well (only one day off). I have always felt connected to her. She was always so mature and poised, so she usually hung out with the older kids but I was always watching her from afar. And Catherine, who joins in our birthday fun. She is younger than me but I spent the most time with her and her little sister Mary Kate as children. They were my buddies! They probably came the closest to actually seeing me back then.

There are 10 of these amazing people and I am so excited to finally be getting to know some of them better. For the rest of you, come out come out wherever you are. It is getting fun in here.

Yesterday Leslie asked if we could have an Ask Julie session where they could ask questions about my life. My life! I love telling my stories because, well because you know how I feel about words but I didn't know I was intriguing to anyone. I am thinking an Ask Julie post would be fun and I am working out the details but for now Leslie, you can read about how I met Seth by clicking here. (that was one of her questions) I blogged a week long series last year for my anniversary called Becoming Seth and Julie. Scroll down and start with the one subtitled How We Met, and then work your way up.

Those of you who were with me last December are welcome to read it again if you choose. Oh, the rest of you are over me? Dang, I thought I really was fascinating for just a brief moment.

I think my cousins are just astounded that something lies beneath in this girl that they saw as so quiet and painfully boring. I was so, so shy! I still am. Me and my siblings still leave family functions laughing at how friendly and kind our cousins are, and how lame we are hanging out in the corner and never approaching anyone. I talked to my mom today and we had a good laugh. We could just imagine my cousins sitting around saying, "Holy Cow, who knew Julie had a personality?" Surprise!

I wish we'd done all of this years ago but I am so happy we are all here now. I bet Nonnie and Papa are so happy to see the Renouf Roundup back in session. Yee haw, who's printing the t-shirts.