I need help!
I am caught in this awful place where what I want most, and what I want least, have collided and become one.
The only thing Alyssa wants for Christmas is a dog. The only thing. If I beg her for more ideas, she says a dog dish, dog toys, a dog bed, dog food. And what I want most in the world is to see my child's dream come true. I can picture a puppy with a red bow on Christmas morning and I get all goosey just thinking about it. It would be so magical for her, and for just that one moment, for me.
But I don't want a pet. We have talked about this before. If you need a refresher click here. I have spent the last year researching dogs. I can identify dog breeds in my sleep. I even predicted that the dog at the Christmas tree lot was half dachshund/half spaniel and I was right. It is creepy how much I am learning about dogs. I am trying to decide which dogs would shed the least, bug me the least, be nice to my kids, potty train well, etc. And then I am trying to find one that doesn't cost me 10 times my Christmas budget, and more than anything, I am asking myself...can I really do this....?
So here is what I need from you?
Would you do it? For your kid?
And if so, where would you find a dog? What kind of dog?
Seth wants a big dog, like a Boxer or a Lab, but they shed a lot and need to get outside a lot (not going to happen in the winter). Alyssa wants a Chihuahua or a Yorkie, something small and cuddly that doesn't scare Chloe and Alex. And then there are the shelter dogs who need homes, but I am afraid to get a dog and not know what it is, or what temperament it may have. Most of the dogs at our local shelter are at least part pit bull....NO WAY! Plus, even the little beagle/spaniel I found at the shelter is $300. Seems a bit high for a 2 year old stray to me? I would probably choose a hybrid dog from a breeder, so that we would know what is was, but it would be cheaper than a purebred dog, but I don't know. I found little yorkichons (yorkie/bichon frise) that were adorable and much less expensive than a purebred yorkie, but I just sit and look and never make any decisions, and now they are sold.
Time is running out. I don't know if I can do this and I don't have a backup plan. Alyssa doesn't like toys anymore. She sometimes dresses her doll and drags it around, but that is about it. What the heck do you get an 8 year old? I still liked toys when I was 8, but this year her friends are getting laptops, cell phones, and the like. She is not. But what else is there that will wow her like a little puppy dog with a red bow?
Maybe nothing, but there must be something that would at least make her smile? Something....?
So help me. Weigh in on any and all of this post. I need all the help I can get. Do you have any Christmas gift dilemmas this year? What would you do if you were in my spot? Where would you get a dog? What kind of dog, if you are a dog lover? What is an awesome backup plan? And can I move in with you if this whole dog thing goes horribly awry?
Second Week of School
3 years ago
31 comments:
Good luck with that decision Julie. I personally don't see you owning a dog though..maybe a cat?
Try craigslist. I had one friend who gave away her dog there because her baby was allergic to it. And I have another who bought one there. And $300 for a pound dog!!! (We can bring you one up for that much:) Seriously though, I would go for a little older dog. (ie, already potty trained.)
Would I do it if I were you??? I don't know. I always say that we can get a dog when we have a fenced yard and I have no one elses poop and pee to clean up. YOu might want to look at how much shots and stuff cost. Just for our cat the we never get out of the vet for less than $50. And when they are little they need a LOT of shots. And then the cost of getting them fixed, which we did too late and ended up with EIGHT kittens to find homes for. And then there is the flea stuff that you have to put on monthly so your house isn't infested, and the stuff at the grocery store doesn't work. (So I know that sounds a lot like bah-humbug, but I wish I would have realized some of the $$ it would take to own a pet. And we didn't even have to potty train her.)
And on the other extreme, I loved our dog Blackie when I was growing up. (And she lived outside, even in the cold Wyoming winters.) I remember holding and talking to her when no one else would understand me. I have caught Aspen doing the same with Kitsi. It's so nice to have a friend that loves you no matter what, one who will listen and you can imagine she is saying whatever you need her to say back.
Good luck. If you have a dog when we get there, you will have made 3 more kids Christmas'!
Oh!
I have to add I LOVED when we had Coco. She was the best, and she was an indoor cat during the day and outdoor cat at night. Best pet ever!
Also, NEVER NEVER EVER EVER get a bird. SO SO SO annoying!!
OK, this is coming from the Mom who paid a guy at Sears $100 to hold out a $22 Cabbage Patch Doll with red hair for her little girl so she would have just what she wanted on Christmas. I have waited in long lines, paid double or more, and driven hundreds of miles just to get what my kids wanted. Two years ago you all laughed at me for getting Spike the dinosauer and Bisquit the dog, but I will cherish their reactions the rest of my life. Having said that, a dog is a 15 year committment. A lab would be a better dog for your family, not a Yorkie or smaller dog, too unpredictable. Labs are never mean, always fun but you have to love them and play with them or it's not fair to them. I would get a lab puppy or a lab mix from a private party who owns at least one of the parents. Plan ahead, where can it sleep, where can it be without being annoying. Unless you will love and care for it and keep it safe don't do it. We can send out Sherman, he doesn't shed.
YOU might get a dog??? Remember what they sit on--that's why you said you'd never get a pet. Remember, you can't just leave a dog either. If you leave for more than a few hours, you will need to kennel them, or have someone come over at least twice a day to let them out. Don't get a lap dog--their barks are so annoying. And a big dog--well, Seth would like it, but he better be ready with the shovel. EVERY day. Snow, rain, heat. And the kids would have to learn to watch where they step outside. Doggy doo-doo footprints are nasty. Our dogs were outdoor dogs. Coco the cat spent the nights outside wandering the neighborhood--that worked great! Maybe we could send Q-tip out--Chloe would like that. Anyway, you are the one to decide. Sorta makes a cell phone or laptop sound really good!
Just one more thing...Now that I am a mom I understand wanting to get your child everything their heart desires. Sometimes you have to (like that cookie, or that book) or whatever. I do remember wanting a lot of things I didn't get for Christmas or my birthday, and I turned out ok. Mostly :).
That being said I also think it is unreasonable to think that our kids have to have everything, especially when you have a pet, and you inevitably became they main care giver. I think when you want a dog as much as Alyssa does then that is a good time to get one. Until then, I don't think it is a good idea.
Also, NEVER EVER get a bird or birds. SOO ANNOYING! **Just my personal opinion**
Emily, A cat isn't much better, but at least less maintenance. I offered a cat and Alyssa declined. Also, I agree that kids should not get everything they want, which is why no cell phone or lap top no matter how many kids have one. I also don't like TV's in bedrooms, no matter how many kids have them. And video games (although we considered a DS to get her away from this darn dog idea). So you see, at her age she had nothing left to ask for but a dog. Poor kid. I am so stumped though because I feel like this year her whole Christmas is resting on whether or not she gets a puppy. I can't think of one other age appropriate thing to get her.
Sarah, I appreciate all the points you made. There is so much involved in pet ownership. I told Seth that I might just as well adopt a child instead. If I'm going to spend a couple thousand dollars, I might as well spent $15,000 and adopt something I would actually enjoy having in my home. I guess I just don't get the pet thing. Your dog lived outside in WY? Harsh! If I lived in CA, this would be easy. My sister hates dogs but has two of them, that live happily in the backyard and play with her son and husband.
Mom, you definitely are the queen of making sure everyone has EXACTLY what they asked for at Christmas. I believe that one year when I told Alyssa no dog and told her Santa didn't make dogs, she said, "I will just ask Grandma Susie." BUT...you saw how miserable Donny made me. I was losing it. I admit that Donny is a great dog. I never worried about him biting the kids, but the hair was making me completely INSANE...so for sure NO LAB!
Ann, I know, I know....so not what you expected, but dang those little heart stealing kiddos of mine. I have tried to tell Seth that we travel out of state too much to get a dog, but he is as stubborn as his daughter. The problem is that the two of them can't agree on what kind of dog they want. I keep telling Seth that it would be for Alyssa, not him. He knew I didn't like dogs when he married me. Alyssa didn't know she was getting a dud for a mom.
:) First of all, I would do it. Easy for me to say though because I like animals. Keep in mind-I have one dog, two cats, and four fish (sadly our iguana and toad have both died).
First of all, I must agree that cats are way easier. I actually prefer cats. They are sweet, cuddly , and low maitnence. Plus, you can leave them for a couple days if you leave food, water, and litter. Litter box does take work. I think they are a pretty easy pet. Great for starters.
Dogs are nice too, but they are a lot of work. Puppies are especially hard. That doesn't mean I wouldn't do it, but be ready. If you get a puppy, it is tough stuff between the chewing, potty training, energy....
As far as a breed, little ones are cute and small, but I don't favor their personalities. Big ones take a lot of exercise. Be ready for long walks/jogs. I'm not really sure what you do about Winter. My bulldog is great. Not small but short. Kinda' fat and lazy. Doesn't need much exercise and is very loyal. Pricey.
I know what my next dog will be. It is called a Havaneese. Google it. It sounds PERFECT!!! Not too big. Not too small. It has hair (instead of fur) so it doesn't shed or affect allergies. Smart, playful, loyal, great with kids and pets. Maybe you can find a rescue near you. They are pricey from a breeder. Let me know if you google it. It really does sound pretty ideal (to me at least).
Craigslist is always a good option.
Candice is not a "pet person" at all, and she loved her intro to pet ownership with two guinea pigs (also a great first pet). Pretty easy. She now has two cats and LOVES them.
I guess in short, I would see if a cat would suffice unless you think you are ready for dog. :) Brooklynne is a pet lover, and ALL that hard work is worth it when I see the way she LOVES animals.
Good luck! Keep me posted!
Don't do it, Julie!! It doesn't mean you don't love her. I think it would make you crazy, although I'm sure you could handle it if you wanted, and I'm sure having your own dog is different than other people's...so if you change your mind, I know the Bells bought a dog from some kind of shelter or something, which I assume would be cheaper. They might have some leads.
I can't wait to see what you decide! Good luck!
Oh, I forgot to leave my other suggestion, for an alternative present.
Aspen got an mp3 player for her birthday and it was the ultimate gift. Cedar and Aspen want one for Christmas now. She got little speakers and an alarm clock that it plugs into. It also plays videos. (though we haven't learned how to put them on there yet.) I may have to email you with some other ideas, Aspen reads the comments too! :)
Katie, Cats are definitely easier. I can't say that I like them, but the fact that they would require very little from me is a huge selling point. I have seen Havanese dogs as I have looked at different breeds. Pretty cute, and not too big. They sound like a great family dog, but small like a lap dog too, without being so yippy... but what I read said they require lots of grooming and are moderate to high shedding dogs? I will have to read more about them. Bulldogs look so mean...they're not?
Katelin, you know me too well. I am so torn about this one. I don't want her to grow up and be bummed out that she never had a pet as a child, but I also want to stay sane through her childhood if possible. I wonder what kind of dog the Bells got. The shelters here charge $300 and everytime we look they are 90% pit bulls. If I am going to spend more than a couple hundred I would rather pick what I am getting, although a pre-potty-trained dog would be great.
I always read this...
"Havanese are non shedding and hypoallergenic, great for people with dog allergies because they have little to no dander. Their coat is actually made of hair instead of the common fur which lets them not be able to shed. "
If you leave their hair long, it takes more work. A short "puppy clip" of about 1-2 inches is easier to work with. Just have to brush-which I'm sure Alyssa would love.
Bulldogs just look mean. :) They are sweet. Here is a general description....
"Despite their famous "sourpuss" expression, bulldogs are generally docile although can prove to be very fast movers over a short distance. They are friendly and gregarious but occasionally willful.
Bulldogs can be so attached to home and family that they will not venture out of the yard without a human companion. Due to their friendly nature bulldogs are known for getting along well with children, other dogs and pets."
Good luck!
Oh yeah! FYI
Bulldogs aren't the type the kid can walk. They may be short, but they are very husky. :)
How funny, Kristen and I were just talking today about the many reasons we would never want to care for a dog. She was saying how she can't understand how all her friends will devote so much time and money to an animal.
I like having our dogs just because they bark if people come near and I never have to deal with them. Having a dog inside will suck, but you will probably get used to it.
I can definitely tell that a dog is soon to join your family so you might as well start thinking of names! Oh wait I forgot...Vimmy!
Last night I had a dream that my cousin had six little puppies she was trying to find homes for. I tried to call you but my cell phone wasn't working. I finally got it to work and dialed your number and the person on the other end was not you.
I was distraught because I was certain I had found the perfect puppy for your home.
Ummm, Build-a-Bear? They have adorable stuffed dogs.
Number one: Pets are a huge responsibility.
Number Two: On the other hand, pets teach children things nobody else can. (and their moms even more)
Number Three: A stuffed animal will never take the place of a live, warm, beautiful pet in a family.
Number Four: Pets are a huge responsibility. Did I say that before?
Number Five: Pets become a family member. At that point, cleaning up after them is like cleaning up after any loved one and really is not as bad as you think.
Number Six: For your family I'd vote for a dog big enough to handle being outside a lot. In the bitter winter even. Is your back yard fenced? Even the biggest dogs begin as adorable pups that won't scare the little ones if you can find one.
Good luck, Julie. I know it's a huge decision and an expensive commitment, both dollar and time-wise. But if you decide you personally just cannot deal with a live pet in the house, that is a choice you are entitled to make. You are the one, in the end, who will have to really deal with the animal. It always works out that way, so make sure you are personally ready to make that sacrifice for your oldest. If you are, then I would vote go for it. If you are not (and it's perfectly ok to not) then talk to her in private about the decision you made to never have a pet. Christmas should never be a time for children to get what they want against family rules. It won't hurt her to know that, and it won't harm her psyche for ever. I'm sure she must already know your feelings about indoor pets. Make sure this isn't just a power play on her part (which I suspect it is not, but just in case...)
Anyway, those are just my thoughts. Can't wait to see pictures of your new family member.
Poodles also have hair more like humans and don't shed and are hypo-allergenic (as are the famouse Basenjis). Valerie, it's Vimy. If If you lived closer I would buy the dog and Alyssa and I would train it like I did Donny. We would play with it every day. Can you get a dog and a house in California too? Perfect song - I want a hippopotamus for Christmas.
I am in the exact same boat as you.
My kids want a dog and so does my husband.
It's all Annie Laurie wants for Christmas this year.
I laughed at you asking Alyssa what else she would like and her answers of a leash, a dog dish, etc.
Pretty smart.
Anyway, good luck. I'm caving and trying to see what we can do.
Katie, I can't find any Havanese puppies anywhere. I was also looking for a Coton. They don't shed, are mellow, good with kids and good for first time pet owners but I can't find them anywhere. Have you heard of them?
Val, It's gotta be Vimmy, although mom says it is Vimy. I would throw in the extra m though.
LeShel, Don't worry...even if you'd had the right number I probably wouldn't have answered, even in a dream. But...that is probably yet another sign that we should get over this phone thing.
Julie, I agree that pets are good for kids, especially when you compare it to the other junk they play with. I would rather have a pet than a lot of the junk kids are getting, but I don't know if I can do it.
Mom, hippopotmus for Christmas got added ths year because that is exactly how I feel...what do you do with a kid who only wants to unobtainable?
Leslie, Are you really going to cave? At least you live in CA so you can insist on an outdoor dog. I can't wait to see what you decide. What kind of dog does Annie Laurie want?
Leslie, I'd like to hear about what kind of you'll get.
Julie, I've never heard of a Coton. I did google though, and it sounds (and looks) very similar to the Havaneese.
I think that is stupid they are charging so much at the shelter. My shelter was a flat fee that including the neutering.
I got my dog before I got Andy. I got a non shedding dog and I loved him and he traveled everywhere with me. Think planes.
Then I had kids and it was ok at first and then it was too much and then the dog lost his mind and bit me and he was gone the next day.
Me personaly, I would NEVER for all the money in the world get another dog.
I also agree with someone else that said if you don't it doesn't mean you don't love her. Boston wants some stupid truck that is as big as the playroom. He even told Santa and every stranger we see. I love him but is isn't happening.
And you haven't missed much, I have updated lately. The short story, we're transfering because they are forcing us to. I hate it, I hate Utah and I would rather die a thousand deaths. How is that for dramatic?
Actually, thinking about it, I guess I would weigh in against it. I, too, have seen where the family dog--loving, kind, playful--turns on a child. For whatever reason, I have seen the effects of that. What disturbs me most is the parents who still keep the dog--they can't bear to part with a part of their family--even though that dog just about ripped off part of their child's face!! I think I would stick to either outdoor dogs, or wait until the kids were bigger. And--think of YOUR mental health!! Yes, we want to give our kids everything they want. But no one gets everything--and sometimes we encourage the feeling of entitlement ("I want it, I need it, I DESERVE it!") It's a hard lesson, but at some time we have all had to learn it. So--guess my vote would be against.
I was just checking back in to see what else you had decided and it looks like you've put so much time in, I'm convinced you're doing it, but I can't believe it! Not that I'm an expert in things an 8 yr old might like, but I was in a Michael's store yesterday and saw so many cool crafty things that made me think of her. There was a whole line of American Girl craft stuff--have you seen that? You could try to get her into those knitting looms or other things...and trying to think what you do with an animal lover kid as an non-animal lover Mom, maybe you could set her up with horseback riding lessons or something...I don't know, this is a toughy!!
Oh Julie, what a dilema! What about a big Alaskan Husky dog that could stay outside all winter? =D
I love the cousin pictures down below! So cute. The way you talked about them, I was expecting something really bad. But everyone looks cute and happy. And I'm so glad you posted pictures of Valerie's kids. They are darling. It's no wonder you wanted to bring little Audrey home.
Brittney, Sorry about the move situation. Why do you hate Utah? Isn't that where you're from? It has it's quirks, but I do hope you will find happiness there and understand Heavenly Father's hand in this, in time. It is really tough to leave a place you love though, so I feel for you there. I will keep you in my prayers. Also, I agree that you can't get your kids every absurd thing they ask for, but this is her passion and I have told her NO to everything else she has asked for, too. I feel like the poor kid can't win.
Ann, I don't give them everything...that's what their grandma's are for :). There are some things they are not allowed, and certainly not entitled to. I just can't think of what else to give her to get that big Chrismtas morning smile that I need from her. I offered a cat. Icky, but eaiser than a dog. No one really wants a cat though. She will take it as a last resort though.
Katelin, No decision yet. The jury is still out. Too bad I can't afford a piano, although I think she is perfectly happy with her keyboard.
Catherine, I thought of a Husky, but my friend Gabby told me I would get in huge trouble with animal services for leaving even a Husky out in the winter here, and if a Husky had to come in it would shed buckets. Stevens dog is half lab/half malamute and I have NEVER seen so much dog hair.
Time is running out. What are you going to do? I've been right along with you searching and it seems all the breeders have disappeared from this area. Maybe they all sell their puppies to that pet store in GM. I'm interested to see what comes of all this...
Its the dog, or the cell phone. Both wowers. Which is worse? (: Good luck. I havent crossed it yet, but Im sure I will. Katelin wants a DS this year.
Jen, I know, I am freaking out! Today I am looking at cockapoos (which Alex says is the grossest word he's ever heard) and labradoodles, but tomorrow it will be something else entirely. I am even thinking maybe a cat?
Heather, Alyssa originally wanted a DS and I reminded her that I am trying to keep video games out of our house for as long as I can, only now I find myself kind of wanting her to ask for a DS again. At some point I am going to have to cave on some of this technology stuff, but I was hoping for a few more years with just toys. Chloe has a pile of stuff, because little kid toys are cheap. Alex has two things because legos are dang expensive, and Alyssa has nothing because everything on her list is out of the ballpark. Are you getting the DS? What is Maddy asking for?
We...well, Santa is getting her the DS. Dang him! Madi got one last year, and ever since then Katelin has wanted one of her own. Madi asked for #1 of course:the cell phone. #2 Ipod nano, and #3 a kindle. We almost caved and got the cell phone, after seeing how much the Ipod's cost, but figured out she really only wanted something that LOOKED like the Ipod. So I found a video MP3 on sale Black Friday and got her that. You can only avoid technology for so long.
Heather, First of all, sorry I spelled Madi wrong. Right after I posted it, I realized that I spelled it like Cheryl's Maddy and not like your Madi. You are right that I can't avoid technology forever, but I hate that we are already to that place where toys are obsolete and they only want little, tiny, expensive pieces of junk that they just sit on their butts and stare at. I thought I had a few more years before we hit this point. Then again, a dog is more expensive than any of the other stuff on Alyssa's list so maybe I should rethink my position?
Nothing, no amount of begging, could ever make me get a dog! Don't get me wrong. I think they are adorable and fun when they don't belong to me but I've already got enough work trying to take care of the other three members of the family and our house without adding a dog to the mix.
Now, a cat.... maybe.
As far as what kids want.. I've noticed this year there have been more specific things Abi really wanted because she saw commercials for them on Cookie Jar Tv and realized how much worse it will probably be next year when she gets to school. I can't believe how young all these kids are getting phones. I had my first cell phone at age 29 when we moved out here!
Oh well, I guess we have to keep up with technology and be thankful for its conveniences... but I'm hoping she'll still be asking for baby dolls at age eight like I was rather than for a phone.
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