Most of the time I do not think about what I look like, or care even. I stress out about the flat chest at the beginning of each bathing suit season, but mostly, I just look the way I look and I don't think about it. I will go out without make-up and I don't really consider what I am making people look at. I mean, heck, I even posted bathing suit, butt shots of me in my worst shape ever. (although after last night I thought better of it and deleted them) But clearly, I have no shame.
In my head, I still picture myself as a 21 year old girl with sandy blond hair and a really flat stomach. The mirror never shows me that girl anymore, but in my head, that is who I am. I feel about 6 days removed from high school graduation. It seems impossible to me that I am 34, and most days I forget that I am.
Only lately, I have seen a few pictures of me that have me running scared. I have blamed it on the camera, but maybe that is what I really look like? I guess I just haven't thought about how much I have changed in the past 17 years.
Jen and I were just talking about this at the Dells. We both spent our early adult years being told how young we looked. She was a teacher, who was often mistaken for a student. I was often asked if my mom was coming in to pay for my haircut, or which high school I went to. I even got asked on my mission if I got permission to come out before I was 21. Really, I went when I was 22. I loved looking young. Jen and I lamented the fact that suddenly no one seems surprised to hear that we are mid-30's mothers of three.
And I even have gray hairs. Still few enough that I can tweeze them, but really???? Gray Hair? My mom is barely getting gray hair. And I found an age spot on my face, hanging out with the two broken blood vessels that came during pregnancy And I think I am getting fuzzy patches on my face. This is old lady stuff.
So last night I headed off to a Relief Society activity. I felt pretty confident because I did not bring any food that would get rejected and have to come home with me. I was a total waste of space tying a quilt, and cut the grid lines on the quilt instead of the yarn I was supposed to tie. But whatever, I was still feeling pretty good.
After I proved useless in the quilting arena, I offered to hold Violet so Jen could work on the quilt. She is far more crafty than I am. A dear sister started asking questions about my baby, her name, her age, etc. I answered the questions and explained that she was not my baby, but agreed that she is very cute. In an effort to keep a conversation going, I explained that my baby was old enough to stay home with daddy. What I meant was, she is not nursing anymore and therefore not completely dependant on me. What this sister responded with was...
"Oh, is your baby off in college?'
That really happened. And suddenly I wished I could just go back to having my food rejected.
Second Week of School
3 years ago
14 comments:
Gray hair, fuzz on face, age spots?? I am proof positive that this 16-year-old (who probably does look old enough to have 15 grandchildren!) is still young on the inside where it counts. And, after my liposuction, face lift, calf implants, implants somewhere else (!!), and nose job, I will look as young as I feel. Or maybe I'll just look like a grandma impersonating a kid. Guess what's on the inside counts more than the outside. Although I will gladly take donations toward that lipo! And I wish my backside in a swimsuit looked as good as your does!!
I saw those bathing suit pics, before you had a chance to delete them, and if I looked that good, I would be posting bathing suit pictures of myself all over my blog. And the woman at Enrichment must have been joking or blind. Or perhaps senile.
Just remember, she was old. They say weird stuff sometimes.
It sucks when we get old to other people but not to our selves!!! By the way cookies from you will be blessings enough for now!!! ;)
Oh yes the woes of being a woman after having babies. The sweet cute cuddly babies take all the beauty away from us and in return we get things like skin tags and gray hair. Oh yeah I have too much gray hair in my very dark hair. It's too much to tweeze :( When I try it seems like they double when they grow back! Good luck with your body woes, to everyone else you always look great!
Old people do say weird stuff, and you are one hot momma! Seriously, you do not look old. Re-post those butt shots with pride!
Okay, so I never said this sister was old, I just said "dear". You all assumed the "old" part. I don't think she meant any harm. I think she was doing the same thing I was doing and trying to chit chat a little longer. No harm, no foul...but the other 30-something moms who were standing near me all enjoyed a good laugh about it.
I would just blame it on the lady. Perhaps she isn't old, but definitely crazy. You still look totally young! Can't blame your buds, I would have cracked up if I was there too!
You do look great. Dont worry about it. I heard you talking about the college kid thing, but I didnt realize it had happened at the activity that night. Its like me not being able to throw good enough! (: WHATEVER! And in my experience, even when you pull out the grey hairs, they still grow back, only shorter, so they stick up more and make it more noticable. Hair color is my new best friend, and I know you color, but when they greys start coming I know I gotta stay on top of it better!
I agree with everyone.. you look great. I saw those pics too and I think you looked fabulous.
I know what you mean though. I still feel like a 17 year old and see myself in the mirror and wonder who that person is!
Yeah I think it was one of those foot in the mouth moments for that lady. With LDS moms having kids at 18, by those standards you're not too far off from possibly having a kid in college. However, you're much too pragmatic for that. Keep in mind these are the same people that you could have a baby dressed in pink with a T-shirt that says, "Daddy's little girl" and they'll still ask you if it's a boy or girl.
I agree with Val you still look young. I have been plucking gray for a while till I realized if I kept doing so I wouldn't have side burns anymore.
I can't decide which is worse: being asked if I have kids in college or being asked if I'm expecting again and having someone pat me on my belly (from the same lady...so take it with a grain of salt). You know you don't look even remotely close to having college-age kids. It was just a crazy thing that happened. Now, I'm closer to believing that I look preggers:(
I feel bad for the lady with the foot-in-mouth disease. Been there, done that, seriously. You're terrific, Julie. And I know you didn't post this to fish for complements, but just remember ten years from now you're going to look back at your pictures from today and think they were pretty dang wonderful! Not that you won't look wonderful then, too, but that this aging process is just a fact of life and we'll never be as young as we are today. Just hang on for the ride and love every minute! (Now, have I totally done the foot-in-mouth thing well enough?)
If it makes you feel better I keep getting asked by the same lady if I am pregnant. EVERY RELIEF SOCIETY ACTIVITY NIGHT!! EVERY ONE!!
Sigh....
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