JAJ Installment 13: Stephanie

First off, click here if you want to read Cheryl's answers.

Also a quick mirror update: Seth came home and assessed the damage. Turns out it is not nearly as bad as last time. Did I forget to mention this wasn't the first time I had done this? Anyhow, Seth thinks he can replace the mirror himself. We ordered the part online instead of from the manufacturer and it was only $83, hundreds less than last time. I am not thrilled about throwing away $83, but it could be worse. So, the table? Nah, probably not. I will probably opt for the boring, but practical, garage door. Hopefully I don't back in to it the day it's installed.

Stephanie asked: I hear you have the most amazingly clean floors. So, what is the process you use to do this (detailed)?

Alright Stephanie, I have to say that I am cracking up at this question. I am assuming that you are getting this info from either Valerie, or my dad. What you should know about Valerie and my dad, is that you need to take everything they say and dilute it by at least 50%. They are the two most excitable people I have ever known. Everything is the best, worst, funniest, strangest, thing they have EVER seen. You have probably noticed this about my dad already, but Valerie is just as bad. I once saw her get goosebumps when she saw the diamond shaped building from Adventures in Babysitting in downtown Chicago. Life is just that exciting to Valerie.

Before I talk about cleaning the floor, let me illustrate the over enthusiasm of Valerie and my dad for you. When I was 20, I was a loser. I was "between jobs", and not in school. I liked to color while I sat around being a loser. Valerie and my dad found my coloring books and went on and on about how gifted I was at coloring. You'd have thought I was a real artist, or something. I reminded them that I was 20, not 2. Valerie laughingly told my dad, "when people ask what Julie is up to you can tell them she is an unemployed, college drop out, but dang she sure can color." Then they laughed even harder than was necessary at that too. They are just spazmos.

It is lots of fun. They are hilarious to be around and good house guests. I feel like the best mom, cook and housekeeper when they come around. The first time Valerie came to visit with Luke, he was crawling. He crawled all over my house in his white jammies without getting dirty knees, and since then she has spread the word about my clean floors. I admit that I like the clean floor reputation, but my floors are not always perfect.

They have milk and/or juice spilled on them daily, and often times a few pieces of cereal will superglue themselves to the floor as well. Did you know that cereal and milk combine to make the most powerful adhesive known to man? Also, as soon as I mop, huge piles of snow inevitably get dragged in. My floors are not ALWAYS clean.

But I do love to mop. LOVE IT! I prefer to mop late at night when I can take my time and let my mind wander free. The process has changed several times, depending on what kind of mop I am using. I always sweep first, then vacuum. I have been using the Shark vacuum, but I need a new one. Then I go around and clean any gross spots (like glued down cereal). Then I mop. I used to use vinegar and water to mop, but now I use the Shark Steam mop. Then I go around and check again for any spots that need special attention, and if necessary, I mop again. I mop the same way you teach a child to wipe their butt, just keep going until there is nothing left.

Since mops are awkward in bathrooms, I clean those floors by hand. I just get on my hands and knees with some Pine Sol and a sponge and some paper towels, and have at it.

It is a little bit obsessive, but everyone has things they are like that about, don't they? For me it is the floor. Again though, don't listen to my dad or Valerie.

Stephanie asked: You are such a good mommy! When Alyssa was young and it was just her, what did you do to fill all of the time with her, specifics, like morning time read a book, afternoon went out, blah blah blah. I always feel crazy like I don't know what to do with William but I don't want the time to be wasted. I know you have good tips and tricks. I also think that when I have another and we'll be out doing stuff with William, the baby will just get dragged along and it will be a little easier, but I'm just curious!

Didn't I tell you not to listen to Valerie and my dad? I do hope you are getting this idea from them, and not from the way I have represented myself on this blog. If I am giving off that impression, I'd better sue myself for slander. I do not consider myself to be anything special as a mom, just standard issue. I have my fun moments and my don't get dressed until noon moments.

Look, here is proof from today of how negligent I can be. Today Alex and Chloe had Lunchables for lunch. Some moms would shun me for that alone, but they get Lunchables if they can behave at the grocery store. I think some moms would shun me for the bribery too. And this is what was left when they were done with lunch.

Chloe nibbled on her cheese, took one bite of bologna and licked all the chocolate off her Butterfinger. Alex ate his food. He even left his chocolate behind...have I taught him nothing? The point is, a good mom would have taken that Butterfinger out of the tray until lunch was finished. I took a picture because I thought that naked Butterfinger was amusing.

As far as having just one kid goes, I didn't really have any tricks. I did work part time from 6-10 AM until we had Alex, so I was always so excited to see Alyssa when I got home. I love being a stay at home mom, but when I worked I think I appreciated my time with my baby more. I knew it was a gift, and not just same old, same old.

One thing I did really wrong with Alyssa, was leave the TV on too much. She is still a bit of a TV nut. I would go to bed at midnight, get up a couple times in the night with Alyssa, and then have to get up for work at 5AM. When I got home, I wanted to sit and eat and relax for a minute, so I vegged out on the couch while the Wiggles talked to Alyssa. After my lazy time was up, we just played all day. No schedule really.

She was a needy child and had to be talking to me at all times. We read books and went on LOTS of walks, sometimes two or three a day. We went to the park. We went shopping. We would go to Chick-fil-a, once she had teeth. She would follow me around while I cleaned, and help me when I cooked. In many ways, one kid was so easy for me. She just did whatever I did. Only one to buckle in and out of the car. Only one slobbery mouth eating off my spoon. I was also still caught up in that new mommy world ,where everything Alyssa did was just adorable. I hung on every word, and jumped up and did whatever she desired. I admit that with 3, I pretend to listen sometimes when I'm not, and I do tell them to wait a minute more often. With one kid I would sit and roll the ball back and forth with her for hours, and now I get antsy after 10 minutes. Having one kid really is such a fun phase.

Don't be scared to have two though. For me, the transition from one to two was the easiest. You are already used to doing the whole mommy thing, so one more is no big deal. It is that third one that turns the world on it's head, but even though I can't dote on all 3 the way I once doted on Alyssa, I do feel the happiest and most confident with 3. I have a whole house full of sillies to play with. Board games, art projects, London bridge, ring around the rosies, and lately they can't get enough of sardines (Linda taught me sardines as a kid, so fun!). I promise when you get to three you will never wonder how to fill the time.

Ewww...that sounded like one of those annoying ladies who is always trying to tell you that you don't "get it", and impart all of the wisdom she thinks she's gained because she has more kids than you. I didn't mean to sound that way. I always hate when people do that to me. There are so many different ways to be a good mom, and so much depends on the child. I used to paint with Alyssa before she was even a year, but Alex had totally different needs and strengths. He couldn't talk to me and he couldn't sit still so everything was completely different. Do what works for you and William.

Just one thing I would recommend, is go to the library every week. I didn't take Alyssa to the library until she was 2 1/2. I bought books and read to her but I thought she was too little for the library. Alex and Chloe have been dragged along since birth, and now I wish I'd taken Alyssa sooner. It is so much fun to pick books out together and then to go home and have storytime parties, and the library usually has fun story times for all different ages as well. Our library even has a ready to read room that has a new theme each month, full of all kinds of interactive learning activities.

Oh, and another fun thing to do, is sing with my kids. NO ONE else on earth ever hears me sing, but I sing with my kids a lot. Especially with Chloe, while Alex and Alyssa are at school. We never watch a TV show without first dancing to the opening credits either. Music is so much fun with kids. Chloe can already sing popcorn popping, three little monkeys, twinkle twinkle, and my favorite, I am a child of God. It is the cutest thing in the world. Oh, and she is currently obsessed with Dora and Diego and can sing all of their songs too. Isn't it funny that Chloe already has a show? I would feel bad about it, but you saw how high maintenance Chloe is...Dora and Diego are the only reason I am still sane.

There are so many fun things to do, but then again I am content to let the kids play independently too. I am not hands on all day long. Some days I don't do much with them at all. I don't want to go around making myself look better than I am. I definitely have days when I say "go play" A LOT.

My best mommy advice would be, just to have fun. This is as good as it gets. It really is. I have said before that even my worst days with my kids are better than my best days were without them. Yesterday, Seth came home still laughing about that stupid broken mirror and told me it was a kind of junky day at work and that broke up the day and gave him something to laugh about. I felt so blessed to be where I am. That was the worst part of my day yesterday, and the best part of his (until he got home and played with us, I imagine). This is the good stuff.

My other totally cliche parenting advice, is to LAUGH. If you are going to laugh when you retell the story in 20 years, then laugh now. A few weeks ago Alex was sleep walking and we sent him back to his room, but followed a few minutes later to make sure he made it. We found him asleep in the bathroom, standing up peeing in to the heat vent, with the toilet behind him. I didn't really want pee in my heat vent but since it was already there, it was funny. We laughed so hard. There are so many things that stress me out and overwhelm me. I try to maintain perspective by keeping a sense of humor. Plus, it is so fun to laugh, and kids are so dang funny.

Alright, I am bugging myself now. I don't get asked for parenting advice often, and I really do think there are so many ways to do it right. I think you seem to be doing a great job Stephanie. I don't think I have ever seen a picture of William without a big fat smile on his face. I love that kid's face. Reminds me of Mr. Wabs, circa 1984. Has Michael ever told you that we called him Mr. Wabs or Wabado? One guess who's crazy brain came up with those nicknames? Valerie, of course.

Julie asked: Will you pretty please, promise me that you will blog regularly when you get to Germany? William will change so much in the next 3 years and you will have all kinds of sad aunts uncles and grandparents if we only get updates 3 times a year. Plus, we all want to participate in your Germany experience vicariously through the blog. So what do you say? Please!

That's all I'll ask for now since I know you are busy getting ready to move, but I would love to hear more about you and since we won't have the chance to sit and chat anytime soon, you will have to get blogging.

Okay everyone, that's a wrap. Two months later, JAJ is finally done!!! Phew! That was fun. I am not sure I will do it again. I feel like this all about me thing must be so annoying by now, but I LOVED hearing more about all of you. Thanks for playing.