I have been having a case of blogger's block lately.
What? Julie has run out of things to say?
Oh heck no! I have just started second guessing the whole blog thing.
You all know I am a pretty open person.
If I feel it, I say it. If I think it, I say it. And then sometimes wish I could retract it. Read it or leave it. Love it or hate it. But you will never be left thinking...tell me how you REALLY feel.
I have a big mouth, even on paper.
The problem with blogging though, is that I am sometimes misunderstood. I have been accused of being angry and upset when what I was going for was funny and sarcastic. Apparently my voice doesn't always come through in print.
That really bums me out. A good writer can make us hear them the way they intended to be heard.
Oh well, aside from fracturing my whole wannabe writer persona it also has me second guessing everything I write now. I think I have told you before that I always leave a conversation over analyzing every word and wondering who I offended or annoyed. Now I am doing that on the blog too.
Dang it! I was hiding from all my social issues here in Blogland but they have found me. Now when I post an idea, I am afraid people think I am bragging. When I post anything spiritual, I am afraid it is perceived as preaching. When I post opinions, I am worried that I look judgemental.
So I have been keeping my blogs a little closer to the surface lately. Just cute kids. That can't possibly offend or annoy anyone.
The problem with that is....that I am kind of a thinkaholic. I have had a lot of thoughts competing for my attention lately. So I type them out...and then delete them. I like trying to put my feelings into words. I like to share personal experiences and spiritual moments. I love words. Although they can not capture moments, they can help us recall moments. I am on a quest to find the right words. The ones that immortalize my moments. So I am still typing them. I am just deleting them before they go public.
Maybe I need to put some of my words somewhere else. Maybe this is not the appropriate forum for my journal. What should I share and what should I retain? How much is necessary to paint an honest picture of who I am?
So I could just keep treading water and giving you the kid pics and weekend updates but that feels so superficial. It is real, but there is more. I know that being honest doesn't necessarily mean you have to tell everybody everything but I am just not satisfied with skimming the surface. If I am not fully immersed then it really isn't ME.
I am going to try to get back to my regular old blogging. You remember back when you never knew what you were going to get? But in order to stop second guessing myself I will add the following disclaimer.
WARNING: The views and opinions expressed on this blog are the sole property of me. I reserve the right to be obnoxious, sarcastic, spiritual, sappy, redundant and to share too much information, sometimes all in the same post.
There, you have been warned. If I do ever offend or annoy anyone, I didn't mean to and consider this your formal apology. No need to beat me up about it. I promise I do that enough to myself.
Second Week of School
3 years ago
11 comments:
Julie, in the dead of the darkest side of night, you write my thoughts exactly. Does it come with sharing the same name? That's scary for you, so sorry. Aunt Julie
Hi Julie,
I think those are partially inherited traits. A little bit bordering on paranoia. But remember...just because you're paranoid; it doesn't mean they're not out to get you. I hope you keep writing, or I know that Val and I, at the least, will go into withdrawals.
Take care,
Dad
Oh, Julie. You shouldn't stop blogging just because of what you think people are thinking. You know what you are trying to say, and the people who really know you won't take offense. Just keep doing what you love:)
someone once shared something with me that changed my life....
It's none of your business what other people think of you!
I can now more frequently function as myself understanding that what other people think of me is what they think and none of my business.
I just remembered it came out of a book called The Four Agreements. SUPER READ!!
SO now I'm a little stressed that I've taken you wrong and laughed when I should have cried!
Guess that's none of my business.
"I always leave a conversation over analyzing every word and wondering who I offended or annoyed."
This must be an inherited trait because I do the same. It bugs me about myself though so I adopted a phrase to eliminate my doubts...Who cares! Seriously, whenever I worry about it, I just assure myself that my intentions are good, so who cares if someone doesn't get me.
You do need to blog though cause I still check it every day after work. Sucks we can't yap on the phone Mondays anymore, I guess I'll call on the weekends now.
I'm glad to hear it. I love your blog and all your opinions whether I share them or not.
Your blog is seriously entertaining and fun to read and I love it when I see a new post!
I always thought of my blog as my very own. I post when I want, what I want and how I want. That's the only way I can do it. Nobody can make me alter it because it's mine. It's like nobody else has the right to tell me how to raise my kids.
I am glad that you are going to keep it going though. I feel like I know you so much better because of your blog.
The ancient art of letter writing might have died, but blogging is becoming an acceptable substitute.
First-I love hearing about you and the family. Don't stop posting about that please!
Second-I love reading about your thoughts on ALL things. Spiritual or not.
Third-Your writings may offend some people (who cares) but the mark of a great writer is that they get people to think. Would Steinbeck care that some people think his great works are boring ore pretentious. Just write! PLEASE!!
That's it.
LeShel, I actually heard a similar quote recently, "your opinion of me is none of my business." I like it!
Dad and Val, I think we all get our shared paranoia from GK.
And Val...you have no idea how much I missed chatting with you this week.
Emily, thanks for your nice words but Steinbeck boring or pretentious? Watch your mouth! :)
OK, sometimes I think you and I are so alike it's scary. I've been having this exact same problem lately. Except I'm not really an open person in public so I worry that when I write people will think I'm trying to be someone I'm not. So I just don't write anything. But I love blogging so I'm trying not to care what other people think. It is my blog. So I say keeping expressing yourself!
I learned a very valuable lesson a couple of years ago, and what I learned from it is " Who cares what others think". Just be yourself! If people are looking to be offended then they will be offended. Besides, not everyone has to like us, or even agree with what we may say.
Your blog posts are great, and entertaining. Your a very inspiring person. You've never offended me, and if you ever meant to I didn't pick up on it. But then again I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed!
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