My best pal, Al

So, I consider myself to be pretty patient. My kids can spill paint on the floor, color life size murals on the wall, flood the bathroom everyday during bath time, forget how to ask for things nicely 100 times a day and so on. (As I am typing this Alex is taking all the sheets and blankets off the guest bed and sitting on Chloe) When they make their messes I usually just take a picture and then clean it up. They rarely ever hear me yell. They are just kids after all. The world is tough enough without a mean mommy although Seth would argue that I could stand to be a little bit meaner than I am.

So, before you think that I am bragging I will confess that there is one thing that pushes me over the edge every single day. Chloe only takes one nap a day now and Alex knows that I just need 10 minutes in a quiet room to get her to bed. But everyday as soon as she shuts her eyes Alex bursts into the room bouncing off the walls in true Alex fashion. I try to hurry him out but it is too late...SHE'S AWAKE! And it usually takes 30 min to an hour to get her back to sleep. That is when "patient, pushover" mommy becomes possessed by "psycho, I can't take it anymore" mommy. Poor Alex always looks terrified, as though he has seen a monster and indeed I believe maybe he has.

After flipping out and putting him in his room until I can get Chloe back to sleep, I always feel horrible. I can't stand to see my kids sad, especially when it is my fault. I know, they need discipline, but anger is never a productive form of discipline. So, after Chloe is asleep I always go talk to Alex, apologize for getting mad, and try to talk to him about being obedient. The answer I get is always something like "I just wanted a hug and a kiss" or "I was scared and I wanted to see you." The only thing the child is guilty of is loving me too much.

So in the future I will try harder to be patient even when Alex wakes Chloe up. As frustrated as I may be, I will try to give him the hug and kiss that he needs. I am sure the day will come when he is in his room with his music on and I will be on the other side of the door thinking, "Please open the door, all I want is a hug and a kiss".