When Alex was 2, he choked on a slice of tangerine. It slipped down his throat whole. His face started to turn bluish, his eyes were watering and he couldn't breathe. In theory, I know how to do the Heimlich maneuver but in the moment I, well, choked for lack of a better word. We were at Glenn and Heather's house with a group of friends. The moms were in the kitchen with the kids, and the dads were in the living room.
I couldn't remember if I was supposed to do the Heimlich differently on a toddler than an adult and I just froze. I started screaming for Seth. Margie started crying. Heather told me to do something and then grabbed Alex and did the Heimlich herself. Of course the orange came up, Alex was mad at Heather for making him throw up, and I was mortified. I was so grateful that I had not been alone, but on several occasions since then I have wondered...what if I had been? Would I have done better? Surely I would have done something if I'd been his only hope. I hope.
Yesterday, after school the kids and I went to see Tangled. They had already seen it, but the only other thing playing was Yogi Bear and no one wanted to see that. Seth has been working in Utah all week, so we decided that the last night he was gone, we would go to the movies, get McDonalds and then all sleep in my room. (The rest of the week they took turns sleeping with me.) We picked up Happy Meals and once everyone was eating, I went downstairs. I am trying not to eat McDonalds and after picking a few fries from their Happy Meals, I realized that my will power would be stronger in another room. A few minutes later I realized there was nothing interesting to do downstairs and went back to the kitchen. Just seconds later, Alex was choking. Alex puts way too much food in his mouth at once, especially when he is trying to hurry so he can open a Happy Meal toy. He wasn't breathing. His eyes were watering, and he looked so scared. He started poking his fingers into his throat. I moved his hands away from his mouth, and just like I was on auto pilot I did the Heimlich. Seven unchewed fries came up, but he was still choking. One more try and up came the offending chicken nugget, also unchewed. I felt so calm in the moment, but as I knelt to hug him and make sure he was okay, I found that I was shaking, and crying.
And now I know that I am capable of more than I sometimes give myself credit for. I become very codependent when I have the option, but when I am left to my own devices, I can do what is required of me. Now that we have learned that, I can stop worrying about the time I let him choke. I have found the absolution that I have longed for. But please bless the kid learns to chew his food better, because even though I knew what to do, I was still so scared that it wouldn't work.
P.S. I should mention that I have twice been the recipient of the Heimlich myself, so I can testify that choking is terrifying.
16 comments:
Chew your food Al. Julie you were around 2 when you choked at the Crab Cooker. I did the maneuver on you, it took several tries. You were purple. When the large oyster cracker came up everyone cheered and clapped (they had already called paramedics). Jeff was 3, he never stopped eating or looked up. Later I said, "your sister" was choking. He said, "I know but I like that food." All things in priority. Love you Alex!
Supermom!! I had a dream about Al last night after you told me this story. In the dream I had to babysit him and he was crying cause he wanted you so I cuddled with him and read him a story to make him feel better!
The choking story is SO scary, I know I'd be shaking and crying too. I swear having kids is the best feeling ever, but also the most vulnerable!!
Oh Julie- that is so scary. I have often wondered if I would do it right as well. I've done it on a friend in high school and on a child in my daycare class but I still fear that I will forget what I've learned in a crisis.
Choking is one of those things I am terrified of. I remember getting teased (lovingly) for cutting up Abi's hot dogs into the tiniest pieces when she was three but I just worry about it all the time. I'm sure my babies could eat so much more than I let them but I can't stop worrying about it.
I am so glad that you were able to get up all that food- that was A LOT! I am so glad that Alex is okay.
You've had quite the week with these scares.
Scary. I do not like when kids choke! I have been pretty lucky (knock on wood) because I haven't had too many chokers in my family. Cammy used to be the choker in our family. Way to stay calm!
That is very scary. Im glad you were able to pull out all your super mom strength and save his life. Do you think he will learn from that experience? (;
Wow! Um, I have never been there and hope never to go there. I don't know if I could do it. Especially to my own child. I feel like I can keep a calm head, except when it comes to my own. When we were in a car wreck, I lost it, when I wash rushing Olive to the hospital and she was having a really hard time breathing, I lost it. I'm glad you knew what to do and you were so calm and did it. I hope you're around if we ever need that kind of attention, though I hope we never need it!
We've had that problem before, thankfully Ben was home and helped. How scarey. Glad you're an amazing mom :)
I couldn't even read this, my tears were too heavy. That is so scary. I worry about it a lot especially since we do baby led weaning instead of purees. I watch my children like a hawk and just tonight was after Isla unnecessarily when I thought she had swallowed her mandarin orange whole.
I also have to say that I suck so you will feel better. Andy choked about a month ago and I didn't even do anything let alone get worried. I thought he was just being dramatic and wasn't even paying attention to him. Then the veins on his neck started bulging and his eyes were watering as he turned bright red. He saved himself just as I realized he really was choking. Because I suck.
So glad Alex is ok. And you are a good mom Julie. I don't know that I have ever told you before, but I really admire you. You always inspire me.
and because I just need to share how much I stink at parenting, last summer when Boston busted his head open and was head to toe blood, I actually stood there with my head in my hands asking my three year "what do I do?!?"
I have since decided that YW should have told me to plan ahead for these situations just like when you plan ahead for what you are going to do when someone offers you a drink so you'll be ready. Which i have since done.
Julie! Terrifying, truly! I'm so glad you were there and that there is a happy ending to this horror story. I want to come up and cut Alex's food into 1/8 inch cubes and then hand it to him one at a time. Kids! Why do they have to scare us to death? I used to think I was invincible, now I know that the universe has me right where it wants me. Today West decided to do some "exploring" with a friend on a ledge of a cliff. Long story, happy ending, child locked in house until his mission. I'm going to go brush up on my CPR now.
I like this absolution! Not that you needed to Heimlich but that you now have a small glimpse at the strength you contain.
Oh Julie,
Choking is so scary. Thank goodness you were able to help him.
I think it's scariest of all when a baby or a toddler chokes. It feels terrible when you're alone, and the only adult responsible and required to act. A few of my babies have scared me to death and it's the worst feeling. I always watch babies now, and everyone knows I jump at the slightest gag.
I get nervous if they even sneeze.
I'm relieved for you that you were able to help Alex and all turned out well.
Did you ever stop to wonder WHY you got bored downstairs and came up?? I think you were listening to the spirit telling you to go. I am so glad you are the parent of those 3 sweet kids.
Oh, this made me cry, but you go, girl!! You're a rock, and glad you know now what we've all known already. Whew, I'm going to go kiss my sleeping kiddos...
I think my biggest fear going into motherhood was dealing with cuts, and BLOOD. I just knew as soon as one of my kids had blood, I'd kill over in a dead faint, and the child would simply bleed to death. Now how great a mom is that?
But there is something about being the only adult, being the grown up responsible, being THE one to do it! I'm so grateful you were listening to the Spirit, so grateful you know now that you can do it.... and so praying that child will learn to slow down and chew! Great post!
Such a terrifying experience, but of course those maternal instincts kicked in. Hopefully, Alex will now learn to chew up his food better for fear of that happening again. I've never done the heimlich on our girls, but I have successfully smacked some backs pretty hard to dislodge some food. Mike has had to give Annie and Mimi the heimlich, and he remembers eerily how quiet the girls got when they were choking.
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