Adventures in Potty Training

Remember about 6 months ago when Chloe went through the taking off her diaper phase? I put blankets sleepers and overalls on her, but nothing could prevent her from getting her diaper off.

I knew I had to potty train her. I didn't want to do it until after summer, but I saw the inevitability and prepared myself for war.

I bought this cool toilet seat, that my cousin told me about. So much less nasty than the removable ring.

I bought undies.

I was ready to go. But each day I would wake up intending to make the switch, and then decide to wait one more day. I told you, I don't love potty training. I like diapers better than potty training.

After a few weeks, Chloe stopped taking off her diapers and I went back to Plan A: Potty train her after summer vacation.

Of course school started a month ago, and I have been playing the one more day game again. Last week I finally decided that it was time. I switched her to undies, expecting the best. She has told me when she goes potty for months. I knew she was capable of potty training, in one day probably. I also knew that Chloe is the most stubborn child ever and I just hoped she would be for, and not against, potty training.

No such luck!

She has refused to use the toilet. If she didn't know how, I would back off, but she is being intentionally defiant. She will sit on the toilet and pretend to push and say she doesn't have to go. Then she gets down and sits on a pillow and pees, smiling at me while she does it. She will sit on the toilet lid while it is shut and brag about the way she is using the toilet. She will flat out tell me that she peed her pants because she didn't want to pee on the toilet.

I have not made a deal of it. I don't want her to think she has me rattled. I just take the undies, wash them, clean up the mess, remind her how to use the toilet, and back into undies she goes. I thought I was being so patient and effective, but she would not cave. Not even once. I thought that if I could get her to go once, I could cheer and praise her and she would be hooked.

I made Seth take a turn on Saturday and she played the same games with him.

I know I had previously sworn off rewards, but I finally broke down on Sunday and told her Doritos were for big girls and she could have some if she peed on the toilet. If anything, it made her more defiant. She said she didn't want Doritos anyway. She totally wanted the Doritos. She was drooling like Pavlov's dogs, but she stood her ground.

Today I told her we should go to the park and that as soon as she jumped on the potty and peed, we would be ready. She peed her pants all morning. She was especially rude about the whole thing today, too. Seth called during one of our sit-ins on the toilet and I gave him the update. He told me to eat some Doritos with my lunch. I couldn't do it. I knew it would work, but I couldn't do it. Instead, I introduced a new variable, one that had not previously been designated as a potty reward. After lunch, I ate a tootsie roll and some m&m's. I didn't say anything about it. I just ate them casually while I was cleaning up from lunch. She asked for a tootsie roll, and suddenly I had my leverage. I put a tootsie roll on the counter and told her it was all hers, as soon as she used the toilet. She had a fit! For an hour. She yelled at me and said she would never, ever use the potty. She kept getting a chair and trying to climb up for that tootsie roll. You may think I am mean, and I felt mean, but I knew that if I buckled, we would never make any progress. Besides, I wasn't depriving her of anything she needed. She was fed and bathed and cared for. No one was yelling at her or criticizing her. It was just a tootsie roll.

After a good hour, Chloe came to me with the nastiest little smirk on her face and declared,"I'm going to pee in the potty", like it had been her idea all along. We walked in, she sat down and she peed. She tried to keep her sour face when I cheered for her, but she couldn't. She was so excited to be a big girl. She got a tootsie roll and Doritos. She laid on the couch savoring every bite. She even licked all the cheese off slowly before biting into each chip. I suspect that was the most satisfying bag of Doritos she had ever tasted.

I was so happy to get that first success out of the way, but I figured we were both exhausted, so I put a Pull Up on her. Breaking my own rules, again. That way we could both keep focusing on potty training, but relax just a little bit. About an hour later I was shocked when she came to me and said, "mommy I am ready to go potty again".

I was even more shocked awhile later when she started to poop and then stopped and asked, "mommy, I'm pooping, do we go to the toilet?" Heck yes, we do. Three successes in a row.

I knew she was ready! I almost gave up and shelved the idea until December, but I knew she was ready. You may not agree with my methods. I am not even sure I agree with my methods, but it worked. I knew I had to get stubborn Miss Chloe to take ownership of her potty training. It was never going to work until it was her idea.

And I have been reminded that there are no hard and fast rules for what works in parenting. It is a whole new experience every single time.

I have also been reminded that Chloe is going to be lots of fun during the teenage years. But hey, at least she won't be in diapers.